I was walking home from school the other day, annoyed and fed up, which is usually the result of school and the unutterably dull journey home, when I saw a bike. The bike was being ridden by a girl who, I’m sorry to say, I must describe as an oaf. She was rolling along at about 0.5 miles an hour, neglecting her handlebars. There is a reason that handlebars were invented. The man who invented handlebars would be literally turning (hah) in his grave. Why, when you have perfectly functioning handlebars, would you decide to use your own body as a counterbalance in lieu of the aforementioned handlebars?
As you can imagine, I was irked by this (sorry for the harsh language I am about to use) twit. I scowled hatefully at her, screaming “FALL”, in my head of course. She did. Now, there are two scenarios which could be drawn from this, the first is that she is a fool of the highest order, the second is that I have the much sought after power of telepathy. The two events are not mutually exclusive. I have since concluded that I have not got supernatural abilities, through rigorous testing, but I am fairly certain that she is a fool, because after she fell off her bike due to the misuse of the handlebars, she proceeded to get up and not use her handlebars. It doesn’t take a genius. Natural selection, you have been foiled again.
As you can imagine, I was irked by this (sorry for the harsh language I am about to use) twit. I scowled hatefully at her, screaming “FALL”, in my head of course. She did. Now, there are two scenarios which could be drawn from this, the first is that she is a fool of the highest order, the second is that I have the much sought after power of telepathy. The two events are not mutually exclusive. I have since concluded that I have not got supernatural abilities, through rigorous testing, but I am fairly certain that she is a fool, because after she fell off her bike due to the misuse of the handlebars, she proceeded to get up and not use her handlebars. It doesn’t take a genius. Natural selection, you have been foiled again.
No comments:
Post a Comment